Last weekend was a rough on for me, like I mentioned before. But just as it was reiterated to me several times in General Conference this weekend, we are given trials for a reason. I was feeling very alone and was just waiting for someone to reach out to me, but it never happened. I didn't get a card in the mail or flowers just because or a phone call from a friend. But I learned a lot from this little experience.
First, I was reminded that everyone has trials in this life and most of them are not visible to other people. So I need to be nice to everyone I meet and not be afraid just to open my mouth and ask someone how their day is going. I will never know who's day I can brighten.
Second, I had to re-learn that drawing inside myself when I am hurting is never the best option. Just thinking to myself how much I need some love and attention will not get it for me. I need to actually tell the people who care about me that I am having a hard time and need some extra lovin'! As a child I always distanced myself when I was hurt and tried to look pathetic so someone would notice me, but mostly people thought I just wanted to be left alone so that is what happened. Communication is always the answer!
Third, I needed to be reminded how important it is for me to take a break from the kids now and then. One of Barrett's classmates came over and watched the kids just for a little while for us and it was so nice just to be together for a bit. I also went and got my hair cut last week and went to the grocery store BY MYSELF while Barrett stayed with the kids. What a nice little therapy. I have also been trying really hard to do date nights, even if they are stay at home ones after the kids are in bed. I've been getting a lot of ideas here and here for fun little things to do and it is really making a difference in my relationship with Barrett. You truly do love people more when you serve them!
My last thought is kindof a funny one. We have watched a couple of fairy tale type movies lately where the girl gets swept off her feet by the prince and they live happily ever after. I told Barrett I shouldn't watch movies like that anymore because they make me want the "perfect" life with a happily ever after ending where life is bliss, your husband is always romantic and thoughtful, and your family is perfect. But the more I thought about it the more I realized life really is like a fairy tale. The difference is that the happily ever after doesn't come until after this life. There are so many fairy tales where the princess doesn't know she is a princess, has crazy things happen to her, like people trying to kill her, ogres, witches, etc, and it is only when she overcomes great trials that she discovers who she really is. We are put on this earth to wade through trials and to learn for ourselves who we really are and reach our full potential.
I am so thankful to have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. I know my purpose here on this earth is to raise a family to the Lord and do all I can to learn to be like my Heavenly Father. What a wonderful, loving Father he is. And as hard as they are, I am glad he gives me trials to help me grow. Paraphrasing Elder Christofferson's talk from today, we should be proud Heavenly Father loves us enough to chasten us. I love the gospel!
