Warning: novel alert!

I don't even know where to start this post. My life right now is... crazy I guess is the only way I know how to put it. Our living situation is less than desirable, mostly because Barrett is gone during the week doing an internship in Utah. I have never missed someone so much before, but at the same time it has been a great growing experience for me. I have realized how much I depend on Barrett for so many things, so his being gone has helped me be stronger and make decisions on my own. I'm so grateful that we live at a time with great technology where we can talk to each other in real time and not have to wait weeks to see or hear from each other. We're so blessed to be able to have him home every weekend.

A big thing I've been doing lately is trying to change the way I think about mothering. I have been introduced to an amazing book called Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman. The book is based on ten years of research on the family and reiterates the importance of the family in society. I highly recommend this book to every parent. The subtitle is The Heart of Parenting and it is very very fitting. My heart is becoming more involved in my children than my mind as I read this book. It is teaching me to have empathy for my children, to recognize emotions as opportunities for teaching instead of discipline, and helping me understand my importance as a mother. The book also has an awesome chapter on fathers and their powerful role in the lives of children. 

So I feel like I've been having this huge enlightenment on how I can be the kind of mother I have always wanted to be, but my struggle is that I am living with my parents. I love them and am so grateful to them for letting us live here, but I feel like I keep getting pushed back down in a rut with my parenting because they interact with my children the way they were taught to. Children are so so different than they used to be and so I feel like we have to parent differently than we used to. I also feel like I have to constantly pick up after my kids and like they are in trouble a lot for getting into things they aren't supposed to because the things they aren't supposed to get into are basically the whole house. Once again, it was my choice to live here and I am grateful. It is always hard not having your own space or your own things. Hopefully only 6 months and we'll get to have our own place!

I feel like this post is rather negative and I don't mean it to be. I am enjoying being so close to family and not missing out on fun things like when we were away. And living here is saving us a LOT of money. My kids love being with their grandparents and getting extra attention from them. I have lots of babysitters! My mom has been nice to watch Caleb for me twice a week when I take Anna to preschool so I can go to the gym. That is a really good outlet for me and helps a lot.

Barrett has a month off for Christmas between his internships so hopefully we can do lots of fun things. I love this time of year and festiveness in the air. I think this Christmas will be fun because we aren't focusing on a lot of material things. We don't need anything much because we don't have a house and little space to store things so I'm thinking Barrett and I will try to go somewhere or do something fun for our Christmas presents to each other this year. Any suggestions?

I apologize for the lack of pictures on this post. They are all on our laptop with Barrett in Utah. Hopefully soon I can get on when he's home and post some. Caleb is getting so big and finally getting some more teeth. He talks constantly (often like a broken record) and loves to explore and learn. One of his favorite phrases right now is "happy day!" I don't even know where it came from! I call him my little monkey because he climbs anything he can. I take him off the dining table like 5 times a day! He is enjoying being in nursery at church with Grammy and Anna.

Anna is loving preschool even though we can't get her to say much about it. If we ask her about anything her response is ALWAYS "I don't know." A little frustrating but I guess I have to learn to ask better questions. I went with her class on a field trip to the fire station and it was really fun. She is learning to recognize letters and write her name. She loves going to school. Anna says the funniest things and likes to make up nonsense names for her toys. The other day we were playing with Barbies and I asked what her name was and she said Slutty. ha ha ha  Barrett was also asking her about who she will marry someday. She said "I don't know his name yet, but he will be nice and handsome!" :)

I love my kids and I love being a mom! There is nothing else in the world I want to be doing right now. I'm so thankful to the Lord for the blessings He has given me and the tender mercies I receive every day.